Weds June 25

Deep breath. Start again.

Tap for cravings. Tap for self sabotage. Tap for despondency.

Life is good really. I have no idea where the greyness comes from.

Maybe if I just ignore it and pretend it will go away?

So back to porridgy breakfast.

Tapped away craving for chocolate. Tapped away craving for bread.

And it's 1 o' clock with no cheats yet....

ah so - why is life sometimes just so despondent?

I don't know.... sometimes you wake up and although everything is the same as the day before, it is coated with a grey foggy silted wet mass...

Know that feeling at all?

Welcome to my world the last two days. Nothing wrong, but I can't raise a cheerful smile at anything.

Kicked myself into action and went out with girlfriends last night, and we were having a "why am I so unlucky" discussion. And I realised that I considered myself lucky, and that I had never had much terrible happen to me. And then we started the "but what about....." bit. Actually a lot of pretty iffy stuff has happened to me along the way.

Except that all the bad things in my life I have never really considered as major traumas. I have always just handled it and got on with the next thing.

So that should mean I have a positive attitude, yes?

Well, no, actually. But then, if I presume the worst and something happens that is less than the worst thing I anticipated, it is a welcome relief.

So....

Is that optimism or pessimism?

Or just an Eeyorish tendency?

Because I am Piglet really.

I give up....

wednesday June 18th

Brekkie
porridge, yog and fruit

lunch
2 x toast and scrambled eggs
banana

dinner
stirfried veggies and chicken, basmati rice

Tuesday June 17

All day out at auction, so NOT a diet day. I find it almost impossible to keep to any diet when I can't prepare my own food.

brekkie:

toast & marmite, 2 slices, still no yog...

at auction mid morning
coffee
bacon roll with ketchup
Twix

Home in the afternoon
slice of bread & marmite
2 lemon biscuits

dinner
spag bol with salad

Monday June 16

Not a good diet day. Out very early (6.30) to auction viewing, so no mood for fancy brekkies. And I ran out of Yoghurt. And am so tired that I didn't get any for tomorrow either... grrrrr..

so

brekkie

2 toast and marmalade

geo bar with coffee at auction house

lunch

2 large sausage rolls
2 lemon thin biscuits

dinner

roast chicken (small leg) with green salad and small portion pasta in stir in tomato sauce.

Sunday June 15th

brekkie
toast & marmite. yog fruit, tea

off to lunch at my stepdaughters, so it will be a roastie dinner of some description...

it was roast beef with roast potatoes, broccoli and cabbage. No pudding.

hungry when we got home so raided the freezer and had

6 little sausage rolls... tsk tsk...

Saturday June 14

brekkie
porridge, yog fruit, tea

lunch
tuna sandwich - tuna tspn mayo cucumber celery no butter
one lemon thin biscuit

snack whilst preparing dinner
crust off new loaf with butter and marmite... ooopsss...

dinner
cold roast chicken, rice salad, green salad, half beef tomato
small glass red wine

Dinner on Friday 13th

dinner

small portion cold roast pork, brussel sprouts, butter beans, 1tbs new potatoes. Shall I tell you this was the more boring stuff I have eaten in a long while...it needed lots of buttery stuff on the veg to make even slightly interesting.

followed by strawberries tossed in redcurrant jelly with vanilla icecream and three Lemon Thin shortbreads.

MUCH BETTER!!

and a glass of red vino.

AND I plan to have a nice scotch later on.....

what was that rhyme? Oh yes...

There was a little girl,
  Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
  When she was good,
  She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


NB for curl on forehead see pic of me on honeymoon :-)

getting fed up with dieting.....:(

I am very fed up with dieting today.

I have lost about 3/4 stone I suppose since I started which is not to be sniffed at.

If you compare my purply picture with the picture of me from Menton, I think there is a definite improvement....




But I am fed up with thinking about what I can and can't eat .

So I am going to have a "eat what you want but not too much of it at any one time" weekend, and hope the damage isn't too much.

Everyone has to have a break sometime, doncha think?

Oh, and I found this pic --- this is what I looked like on my honeymoon - any chance of getting this back do you think? hahahhahahahaaaa

Friday 13 June

Oh! It's Friday 13th ...

brekkie
a treat for me...

toast and marmite. 2 slcs.
yog and fruit
tea

lunch was NOT a diety lunch...

(2 sausage rolls, two slices bread & honey... num num but oh dear...)

Thurs June 12

Blimey nearly half way through the month again.

brekkie

same old same old
porridge, yog fruit.. yawn yawn...

lunch

half triple sandwich from Sainsbury cheaps

dinner

spaghetti, stir in tomato & olive sauce, green salad
icecream with fresh cherry sauce

Weds June 11

brekkie
porridge, yog and fruit
coffee

lunch
slice bread and marmite, smear butter
Geo bar

dinner
half portion fish in sauce for starter, 2 small slices soda bread
ham & stilton salad

Tuesday June 10

what can I say other than hrmmph. Gained weight this morning putting me back to 16st 7.

So it would appear that even the slightly little treats will stop weight loss for me.

Ergo, no more sweet things, cut back on the small amount of dairy.

grrrrrrrrr

brekkie
porridge, yog fruit. tea

coffee

lunch
tuna and cucumber sandwich, one tsp mayo no butter

dinner
ham and hb egg salad, small portion potatoes in vinaigrette, green salad
small slice (to finish it up) strawb cheesecake.

said no to lovely pain au raisin sitting on worktop... made Bob eat it...

Monday June 9

brekkie - porridge, yog fruit, tea

coffee

lunch - salad, saucisson sec, small piece cheese, one slice bread lightly buttered.
tea
Pain au raisins

( I can see sweet things creeping back in- have to be careful and not let them get out of hand.)

dinner
Young's salmon in white wine sauce, (30p from Sainsbury's cheaps counter...) carrots green beans
Marco Pierre White Strawberry Mousse (15p from Sainsbury's cheaps counter...)

Sunday 8th June

Brekkie - 1 x toast with marmite, 1 x toast with marmalade. Yog and fruit. Tea.

lunch half chicken salad, half egg mayo and bacon sandwiches

dinner chicken breast poached in tomato chili sauce, broccoli, green beans, small portion new pots.
small slice strawberry cheesecake
small glass red wine.

Saturday June 7

Derby Day!

brekkie - Porridge

lunch - cheese tom cucumber sandwich,

3.30 before the derby

coffee, small slice cheesecake

(lost the Derby.... boooo hisssss)

dinner
pasta with tomato sauce, parmesan. Green salad (well half of it as I had a coughing fit half way through... itchy salad and a cold don't mix it would seem!)

Friday 6th June

brekkie

toast and marmite, yog fruit.

coffee and cherry frangipane tart

no lunch

afternoon snack - 2 slices parma ham
4 Dorita crackers with butter


dinner
lamb red pepper and onion kebabs
basmati rice
green salad, one tsp dressing

Thursday June 5

Off to mums to take her out to lunch.

brekkie
two slices toast and marmite, yog and fruit

half a kitkat with coffee on route (ugh... M25 the pits today - 2.5 hour drive took 4.5 hours instead....)

lunch at the Museum Inn in Farnham Dorset

Chinese parcel with star anise broth to start

North Dorset chump of lamb with roasted mediterranean veggies, wilted spinach and roasted balsamic vinegar new potatoes

Lemon creme brulee with shortbread biscuits

coffee and a chocolate truffle

expensive but very worth it!

wednesday June 4th

Ok, last two days I was abducted by aliens...

I ate all right, but too much bread as ever. and I couldn't find the energy to write it down.

So yesterday I came down with a heavy cold ,which probably explains the lack of energy.

But, can't let it slip too much, so back to business again today.

Brekkie 10.00

porridge, yog fruit (nearly out of fruit so not a lot of selection..)
two nurofen and a glug of cough mixture... ptooey...

rest of day - 4 cold chipolata sausages with salad, 2 small slices wheaten soda bread

dinner - cold chicken, cold ham, carrots and peas, tbs onion conserve

and the other half of sticky toffee pudding and icecream.... (glossed over by saying very quickly)

Sunday June 1st

Wow June already - Looking forward to lovely warm days and salads and easy dieting... hahahahahahahaha... it's grey and cold and suitable for soup and stew out there...

brekkie 5.30 before boot fair

2 slices white toast scraping butter and marmalade, yog and fruit
tea

at boot fair
3 cups coffee
one choc chip digestive biscuit
home made ham and salad sandwich, scraping of butter only
banana

home 1.30
tea small slice bread no butter

snack 5.00
two slices bread - one with just butter, one with marmite no butter, 4 dried apricots
tea

dinner 7.15
soup - clear chicken and celery, ciabatta roll
beef and tomato stew, broccoli

too much bread today!!! disgraceful....